The Rules of the Barn

I got this off of a chat board and it rings so true that I thought I'd post it here:

Rules of the Barn:

1. I am Human - you are Horse - what I say goes. Please take that into consideration when you are standing on my foot.

2. Spilled grain is not "fair game", especially when it is spilled in another horse's stall. It still belongs to that particular horse. You have no reason to go in and eat it.

3. Poop does not need to be hidden. I clean your stall every day - I 'will' find it. Do not hide it.

4. I do not need your help when I clean the barn, nor do I need your supervision, or even your presence. I have been cleaning the barn and stalls ever since you lived here, and I know what I am doing. Standing at the door staring at me, will not make me clean faster.

5. There is no need to go into the barn and help yourself to the feed.Meals are given at specific times of the day. There is a feeding schedule. You know the schedule. I know you know the schedule. You know that I know that you know the schedule. There is no need to help yourself.

6. Water buckets are not toys. Neither is the gate, fence, pitchfork, wheel barrow, whatever is in the wheel barrow, or the occasional dog.

7. The wheel barrow is there for a reason. Please do not try to move it while I am cleaning your stall.

8. Just because I go into the barn doesn't mean you automatically get food.There is other stuff in the barn. Stuff you don't want. Like wormer and fly spray.

9. Sheath cleaning will NOT be enjoyed...by anyone.

10. Water travels through the hose. If you are thirsty, do not stand on the hose, as the water buckets will fill much faster.

11. Not everything has to be high drama. None of the following things will kill you: fly spray, plastic bags, balloons, hoses, chipmunks and other small rodents, or bright blue tarps.

12. Although I understand the need for you to relieve yourself, it is not necessary to hold it in all day until the moment I finish cleaning your stall and put away the wheel barrow.

13. Accidents happen...However, I'm not altogether sure you're not trying to kill yourself. Next time you decide to impale yourself on some sort of object, please try to do it when it's not hailing, midnight, the weekend, or Christmas.

14. While I appreciate your need to be clean, pooping in your water bucket does not make my job easier, and it deprives you of water. Please find a new spot.

15. Whinnying as loudly as you can in my face does not make me feed you any faster.